I’ve been working on this lyrics for weeks but I got stuck on the second verse. Any idea?
What you reckon so far?
Dark places
—————————$
Verse 1
Still I stumble
On the grift you left..
when you left away
I keep trying
And learning how to cope this
——————-
The Past appears
Noisy and louder
suddenly
The engine breaks down
Lost in the riverbed of delusion
Once again the current churns me up
And there’s just silence
Here, wandering there’s only me...
Just circling silence
Here there’s only me in dark...in dark places
———————
Verse 2
——-
The Past appears
Noisy and louder
suddenly
The engine breaks down
Lost in the riverbed of delusion
Once again the current churns me up
And there’s just silence
Here, wandering there’s only me...
Just circling silence
Here there’s only me in dark...in dark places.
Writing lyrics
Moderator: EC
- Lluisb
- Member
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2020 12:52 pm
- Status: Learner of English
-
- Member
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2021 1:28 pm
- Status: Teacher of English
Re: Writing lyrics
First you should take a look at some grammar points in verse 1 (and what do you mean by 'grift' - could it be 'rift'?)
Still I stumble
On the grift you left..
when you left away - not standard usage
I keep trying
And learning how to cope this - normally you cope 'with' something
How about
Still I stumble
On the grift you left..
when you went away
I keep trying
And learning how to cope with this
OK - verse 2
Why not move into the present and take verse 3 into the future? You could move from light to dark. For example
But these stumbles
Are part of the path
And I find myself
Growing stronger
Steps growing longer as I go
The theme is very similar to a song by a young indie singer called Francesca Tamellini called 'I guess I should say thank you'
Still I stumble
On the grift you left..
when you left away - not standard usage
I keep trying
And learning how to cope this - normally you cope 'with' something
How about
Still I stumble
On the grift you left..
when you went away
I keep trying
And learning how to cope with this
OK - verse 2
Why not move into the present and take verse 3 into the future? You could move from light to dark. For example
But these stumbles
Are part of the path
And I find myself
Growing stronger
Steps growing longer as I go
The theme is very similar to a song by a young indie singer called Francesca Tamellini called 'I guess I should say thank you'
-
- Member
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2021 2:06 pm
- Status: Learner of English
Re: Writing lyrics
apart from a few grammatical errors i think this is pretty good